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Zechariah 12:12

Adam Clarke
Bible Commentary

Every family apart - The meaning of the word apart, which recurs here so often, may be this: Their sorrow shall be so deep and distressing, that every one will endeavor to avoid another, and vent his grief and distress of soul in private. And even husbands and wives shall separate from each other in this general mourning, as they were obliged to do by law in certain circumstances. See 1 Corinthians 7:5; (note), and the note there.

Albert Barnes
Notes on the Whole Bible
Verses 12-14

This sorrow should be universal but also individual, the whole land, and that, family by family; the royal family in the direct line of its kings, and in a branch from Nathan, a son of David and whole brother of Solomon 1 Chronicles 3:5, which was continued on in private life yet was still to be an ancestral line of Jesus Luke 3:31: in like way the main priestly family from Levi, and a subordinate line from a grandson of Levi, “the family of Shimei” Numbers 3:23; and all the remaining families, each with their separate sorrow, each according to Joel‘s call, “let the bridegroom go forth of his chamber and the bride out of her closet” Joel 2:16, each denying himself the tenderest solaces of life.

Dionysius: “The ungrateful and ungodly, daily, as far as in them lies, crucify Christ, as Paul says, “crucifying to themselves the Son of God afresh and putting Him to an open shame” Hebrews 6:6. And on these Christ, out of His boundless pity, poureth forth a spirit of grace and supplication, so that, touched with compunction, with grieving and tearful feeling, they look on Christ, suffering with His suffering, and bewailing their own impurities.”

Osorius: “The likeness is in the sorrow, not in its degree. Josiah had restored religion, removed a dire superstition, bound up relaxed morals by healthful discipline, recalled to its former condition the sinking state. In their extremest needs light shone on them, when there came his unlooked-for death, Therewith the whole state seemed lost. So in the Death of Christ, they who loved Him, saw His divine works, placed their whole hope of salvation in His goodness, suddenly saw the stay of their life extinct, themselves deprived of that most sweet contact, all hope for the future cut off: But the grief in the death of Christ was the more bitter, as He awoke a greater longing for Himself, and had brought a firmer hope of salvation.”

Matthew Henry
Concise Bible Commentary
The day here spoken of, is the day of Jerusalem's defence and deliverance, that glorious day when God will appear for the salvation of his people. In Christ's first coming he bruised the serpent's head, and broke all the powers of darkness that fought against God's kingdom among men. In his second coming he will complete their destruction, when he shall put down all opposing rule, principality, and power; and death itself shall be swallowed up in that victory. The Holy Spirit is gracious and merciful, and is the Author of all grace or holiness. He, also, is the Spirit of supplications, and shows men their ignorance, want, guilt, misery, and danger. At the time here foretold, the Jews will know who the crucified Jesus was; then they shall look by faith to him, and mourn with the deepest sorrow, not only in public, but in private, even each one separately. There is a holy mourning, the effect of the pouring out of the Spirit; a mourning for sin, which quickens faith in Christ, and qualifies for joy in God. This mourning is a fruit of the Spirit of grace, a proof of a work of grace in the soul, and of the Spirit of supplications. It is fulfilled in all who sorrow for sin after a godly sort; they look to Christ crucified, and mourn for him. Looking by faith upon the cross of Christ will cause us to mourn for sin after a godly sort.