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If I should count them - If I could count them.
They are more in number than the sand - Numberless as the sand on the sea-shore.
When I awake, I am still with thee - When I am lost in deep and profound meditation on this subject, and am aroused again to consciousness, I find the same thing still true. The fact of “my” being forgetful, or lost in profound meditation, has made no difference with thee. Thou art still the same; and the same unceasing care, the same thoughtfulness, still exists in regard to me. Or, the meaning may be, sleeping or waking with me, it is still the same in regard to thee. Thine eyes never close. When mine are closed in sleep, thou art round about me; when I awake from that unconscious state, I find the same thing existing still. I have been lost in forgetfulness of thee in my slumbers; but thou hast not forgotten me. There has been no change - no slumbering - with thee.
“I have felt that I could welcome suffering if this precious grace was to accompany it. I knew the Lord is good and gracious and full of mercy and compassion and tender, pitying love. In my helplessness and suffering, His praise has filled my soul and has been upon my lips. My meditation has been so comforting and so strengthening as I have thought how much worse condition I should be in without the sustaining grace of God. My eyesight is continued to me, my memory has been preserved, and my mind has never been more clear and active in seeing the beauty and preciousness of truth. LS 339.1
“What rich blessings are there! With the psalmist I could say: ‘How precious also are Thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with Thee.’ Psalm 139:17, 18. These last words express my feelings and experience. When I awake, the first thought and expression of my heart is: ‘Praise the Lord! I love Thee, O Lord, Thou knowest that I love Thee! Precious Saviour, Thou hast bought me with the price of Thine own blood. Thou hast considered me of value, or Thou wouldst not have paid an infinite price for my salvation. Thou, my Redeemer, hast given Thy life for me, and Thou shalt not have died for me in vain.’ ... LS 339.2
“Since the first few weeks of my affliction, I have had no doubts in regard to my duty in coming to this distant field; and more than this, my confidence in my heavenly Father's plan in my affliction has been greatly increased. I cannot now see all the purpose of God, but I am confident it was a part of His plan that I should be thus afflicted, and I am content and perfectly at ease in the matter. With the writings that shall go in this mail, I have since leaving America written twenty hundred pages of letter paper. I could not have done all this writing if the Lord had not strengthened and blessed me in large measure. Never once has that right hand failed me. My arm and shoulder have been full of suffering, hard to bear, but the hand has been able to hold the pen and trace words that have come to me from the Spirit of the Lord. LS 340.1
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